Friends for different stages

You've probably read that chain email that talks about having friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life (if you haven't, you probably get the gist from my mini explanation anyway). It's one chain email that has always stuck in my head because it rings so true. I believe everyone comes into your life for a reason. As you grow older, you make friends and you lose them. But when I look back at some of the friendships I've enjoyed, still have or have lost, I realise that many of my friends were there for me at different stages of my life.

There were friends to get me through high school, friends to teach me to step outside my comfort zone, friends to work with, friends to travel with, friends to live with, friends to party with, friends to spend hours on the phone with and friends who are always there making me smile. As a teenager, when friendships went bad I would always think it was the end of the world (I'm not big on conflict to start with). And as I went through my late teens and early twenties, and another couple of friendships dissolved for various reasons, I started to see it as not such a bad thing after all.

I realised that as we get older, it's natural to grow apart from some people - how are you meant to know who you'll still have stuff in common with as an adult, on the first day of high school? I've come to accept that even though friendship break ups can be painful, sometimes they are for the best. It doesn't mean that you didn't have a great friendship with them at the time, or that you didn't learn from each other, but simply that it's just time to cut your ties.

A close friend of mine likes to live by the motto: "only spend time with people who make you feel good." And it really is as simple as that. For some friendships, the dynamics might change because you change jobs, move house, start a new realtionship or make other friends. There's no point hanging on to something that doesn't work anymore just for old times sake.

Now, the people I count as friends in my life are there because I value them and they value me. And it's the nicest feeling in the world : )

Notes on Glossy Paper